This thingamajig or gizmo could help in instantaneous transport to and from Mars or anywhere where there is the receiving thingamabob. So first one must get there by any primitive vehicle, like the space shuttle or whatever they used then or by any of our galaxyships, and set up the receiving unit. The structure designed using complicated circuits, neutrincs, wave transformation and quantum principles (the details of which I do not want to frighten you with here) makes a wormhole through the hyperspace boundary and as all of you learned from your textbooks, you can go a whole lot faster in there.
As you will have seen in the Martian Science Museum, the first object we transmitted was a cube, which was assembled all right, only instead of being one solid block it consisted of millions of little spheres. To perfect this we added neutrino-scanners all round our subject on all six faces. It was a lovely game synchronizing all six…. but hey it worked!
When they were not looking, we borrowed a lab mouse from the biology people and sent it through the apparatus. The scientists on Mars received it in good condition only for the exception that it was dead. We obtained another mouse, covered it with the non-toxic exofrincium (element 137), and sent it through the transmitter. To our delight, it revived. We immediately had killed it and stuffed it for the benefit of posterity. You can see that too in the Museum.
The time had obviously come for one of us to try out the apparatus but as we realized what a loss it would be to humanity should anything go wrong, we found a suitable victim in the person of Professor Berry, who teaches Greek or something foolish in Cambridge. We lured him to the transmitter with a copy of Homer, switched on the field, and by the row from the receiver, we knew he’d arrived safely and in full possession of his faculties, as they were. We would have liked to have him stuffed as well, but it couldn’t be arranged.
Then the scientists went through it in turns, and found the experience quite painless, and decided to put the device on the market. I expect your parents can remember the excitement there was when we first demonstrated our little toy to the Press. This demonstration gave us so much publicity that we had no trouble at all in forming a company. We bade a reluctant farewell to the Research Foundation, told the remaining scientists that perhaps one day we’d heap coals of fire on their heads by sending them a few millions, and started to design our first commercial senders and receivers. The first service was inaugurated on June 11th, 2057. The ceremony took place in the Indian megalopolis Dcomsistai (earlier known as Chennai), and even the Martian Paramount City had a huge crowd watching to see the first passengers arrive.
After that, passengers began to stream through at the rate at which water gushes out from a Himalayan glacier, which left the Customs officials helpless. The service was a great and instantaneous success, as we charged only $50 per head and $80 only as a special discount for those with two. Naturally, there were accidents, but we could point out that we had done what no Minister of Space Transport had ever done, reduced space highway fatalities to a mere hundred thousand a year. We lost only one client in 15 million, which was pretty good to start with, though our record is even better now. Some mishaps were very peculiar indeed, and in fact, there were quite a few facts which we haven’t explained to the dependents yet, or to the insurance companies either.
One complaint was median short loops along the wormhole. When that happened, our unfortunate passenger was just dissipated into nothingness. I suppose his or her atoms would go into orbit around the Sun. I remembered one particularly gruesome accident when the apparatus failed in the middle of transmission. You can guess the result … Perhaps even worse was what happened when two wormholes got crossed and the loops got mixed.
We also had a good deal of trouble through interference and static. You see, our apparatus picked up various gamma disturbances and superimposed them on the object under transmission. As a result many people came out looking nothing on Earth and very little on Mercury or Pluto. They could usually be straightened out by the plastic surgeons, but some of the products had to be seen to be believed. Now, the glitches have been corrected and device has been perfected, so that the probability of you looking like a goose when you arrive has been reduced to a minimum. But hey, without the risk it couldn’t be an incredible journey.
As you can very well see, the population here, even on Mars had been exponentially increasing and the resources decreasing and humanity is once again forced to migrate to another planet. I am proud to announce a receiver has just been installed on Titan and I promise that there’ll be more from where that came from. Also a galaxyship has been sent to Proxima Centuri to install the apparatus in Planet XD2 (soon to be named Redonc).
Oh my!! It’s nearly 10 p.m. I have meeting on Earth tomorrow morning. What’s that? … Oh no! I’m going by a galaxyship. I don’t go by Hyperspace, much too risky.
Goodnight everyone.